Harry Styles “didn’t really feel anything” for “a really long time”.
The ‘As It Was’ singer has found having therapy very helpful because it has stopped him from “emotionally coasting” and he’s learned to take the time to appreciate the moments he should celebrate, even though it means he’s also hit “harder” by anything “bad” that happens.
He said: “I find therapy to be a really good example of it, because I feel like for a really long time I kind of emotionally coasted. I didn’t really feel anything. And we’d go through real highs in the band and stuff, and it would always just feel like a relief. Like, ‘Oh, we didn’t fail. That feels like a massive relief.’
“I never really felt like I celebrated anything. And I had a great time. Like, truly. And I think sometimes, with therapy as an example, is you open a bunch of doors in your house that you didn’t know existed, you find all these rooms and you get to explore them.
“And then in a time when it would be easier to emotionally coast, you can no longer do that. Because you know the room exists and the scale has just widened.
“And you feel everything that’s bad so much harder, you feel the good moments so much harder. And there’s obviously moments when you’re at this end, where you go, ‘Is it worth opening the windows and finding the other space?’ “
The former One Direction singer is having a much better time now he’s working at “being more present” with the people in his life and he’s not afraid to protect himself and his own space, even if it causes people to react badly.
Speaking to Zane Lowe on Apple Music 1, he said: “I think in moment to moment, I feel like I’m always working at being more present… I feel like I’ve got a lot better at it.
“I feel like I’m able to celebrate the moments that should be celebrated. I don’t feel so relieved. Kind of like, ‘Whew, that could have been really bad. This is really good.’
“And that is really fun, because I don’t feel like the people around me, the friends around me, I don’t feel like their love is conditional. … I’m trying to appreciate the moments and the time, and I think I definitely found a place in the pandemic where I was like, ‘Okay, I’m really lucky that I get to be with friends right now,’ and all of that stuff.
“I used to feel really guilty for trying to protect the space around me and being defensive of it. And I felt like I was so concerned with people liking me, that I would kind of give up too much space around me that would affect me negatively.
“I think now I feel okay putting boundaries up and I’m okay now, I think, feeling like if I’m not spending time with people that I love and people who love me, I’d rather be on my own. I don’t really have that need to be around people who don’t positively affect each other.”